How To Pay For Your Wedding and Get Out of Debt
“Weddings are so expensive! Why don’t you just elope to save money?” If you haven’t heard a friend or family member say this yet, you are one of the lucky ones! I want to show you some tips and tricks of how to make your wedding more affordable along with what you SHOULD spend money on. This will help you with your budget for your wedding and keep you out of debt after your wedding!
A good starting point to keep in mind is that your guests will only remember two things from your wedding; what they ate and how good the music was. Even though these are very important, keep in mind, you don’t have to spend a fortune! I will let you in on a secret I have from my wedding. We used a culinary school in the area for our dinner at our wedding reception. Not only was this cheaper because these are students that are still learning but you also save on costs because it is a school rather than a banquet hall or professional chef. All I would say on top of that is that you should at least offer to write letters of recommendation for the students who cook for you to give to a potential employer.
Let’s not forget the alcohol. You do not need to spend an arm and a leg if you are providing your own. Go to the Canadian boarder and buy all the alcohol you need. As you are bringing it back, they want you to declare it. That is fine because you will then send the Duty Free store your receipt and in most cases, they will refund you! If this isn’t an option for you, find someone with a Costco or Sams Club membership and go with them to buy the large bottles. They are money savers! For more info on how much alcohol to buy for your wedding, visit my blog How much alcohol do you buy for a DIY wedding.
Another area in which you can save some money is your cake and flowers. For your wedding cake, make it simple! I hate to say it but you are likely to spend $600+ on an elaborate cake and nobody will remember it. We actually went with a small 2 tier cake to cut for the reception and everyone else ate a sheet cake. Nobody knew! We did, however, get complimented on how simple the cake was and that it didn’t take away from the rest of the wedding. Don’t forget the flowers though! Flowers can really add up fast! As the bride, you should be able to have whatever you want so go ahead and buy a real bouquet BUT for your bridesmaids and all of the groomsmen, get them fake flowers. Nobody will know the difference and they get to keep them as a keepsake after the wedding.
Some smaller areas in which you can save money are things like, party favors, décor, wedding party gifts, the DJ, and Invitations. For party favors, you don’t need them! Décor? Get in touch with your DIY self. Wedding party gifts? Get them one small thing. It was already a “gift” that you asked them to be part of your wedding! Sorry, not sorry. Invitations? Print them yourself and scrap the Save The Dates! Now, you may think I am crazy for telling you to save money on a DJ BUT hear me out. The DJ must be a crowd pleaser. You don’t want someone who is too shy to work the crowd but keep in mind, you are in control of the playlist, not them. If you know someone that DJs for fun, hire them! Send them a curated playlist on Spotify.
Now, let’s talk about the areas you should NOT cheap out in. A photographer! I know, I know, I am biased BUT I have facts to back me up. Usually if you go through an All-In-One company, you will be disappointed. Yes, they have bundle and save packages so in the end, you are saving money and who doesn’t want that? Keep in mind, these companies are so busy throughout the year and will never say no to a couple which means, they are willing to hire anybody to be a vendor with them; doesn’t matter their style or if they have quality equipment or if they work well with people. Speaking from personal experience, I went the All-In-One route and I regret it so much. Our photographer was not good at controlling the crowd and had NO ideas for photo. He made me, the bride, figure out posing! He also forgot important photos the day of such as photos of our rings, combined family photos and a photo with my grandparents. He also made promises he couldn’t keep. I was devastated when we got our photos back.
Another area in which you should just spend the money is your venues. Make sure the venue cares about you and your vision! You will know this based on your first time meeting with the planner. If they are questioning you or being unreasonable, leave! This is YOUR wedding. Keep in mind, this is an area where you may want to do the All-In-One. The more your reception venue offers, the better! Make sure chairs, tables, table cloths, silverware, plates, dance floor and bar are all included. This way you have less vendors to have to worry about in the end.
Having been through this process personally makes me want to help other brides have a stress-free wedding experience. You should not be in debt after your wedding. After your wedding, you should be planning things like your next house, your honeymoon and saving money for a bright future. I hope this info helps you on your wedding planning journey!
Needs
When planning your wedding, you should sit down with your spouse prior to your wedding and discuss what you want in your wedding vs what you believe you need. Some of those things may seem obvious but others you may look over in regret not doing in the end. In this article, we wil discuss the needs and wants when it comes to vendors.
As mentioned, some vendors may seem obvious such as a reception venue. I mean, duh! You need an actual place to get married and have your reception. The main thing you must decide here though is if you want to get married at the same place you have your reception or will it be two different locations. If you are having a catholic wedding, 9 times out of 10 you will have your reception at a separate location. When it comes to the reception venue, you will want to ask them a few questions such as; Do they provide a full bar? Do they provide food? Do they have other preferred vendors? The more they offer, the better!
Another need would be a photographer. You may say, no no I don’t NEED a photographer. But think about it! Even if you didn’t hire a professional photographer, you still ask your friends and family to snap photos on their phones… because you know it is important to have photos! All I am saying is, if you want photos, you should probably just budget for a professional to handle it so your guests can just enjoy themselves.
The food. Of course, the food is important. Whether you’re doing a buffet, plated meal, brunch, desserts… it is all super important because your guests expect to eat at your wedding. It all started with the wedding at Cana. Jesus converted the water into wine and they ate food in celebration of such a delightful occasion!
The attire is important and a must! BUT it doesn’t mean you need to spend a fortune. Try a resale shop or the clearance rack first. Don’t forget though, you only get married once (hopefully) so if you find the dress or suit of your dreams, I say, get it!
Even though I believe a DJ is a must, there are different ways in which you can save money there as well. Check out my How to Pay for a Wedding & Get out of Debt blog.
Wants
Now that I listed some needs for your wedding, let’s talk about wants. In my opinion, some things that may fall under the “want” category would be Save The Dates, an expensive cake, expensive rings, attendee and wedding party favors, a florist (make your own), and professional decorator. Now, you may or may not agree with me on these but I will give a brief explanation for each one.
Save The Dates. For Save The Dates, you will order too many and be stuck with them OR your attendees will lose them anyways and ask you about the date again. I recommend just creating an email or Facebook message stating your tentative date and just telling them to save the date. Spend the money on your actual invites instead!
Expensive Cake. I spent a whopping $190 on our cake to feed 200 people. We ordered a small 2 tier cake for ourselves that was simple because you spend all of 5 minutes looking at it before it is demolished. The rest of the cake was plain sheet cake. Everyone loved it!
Expensive Rings. Obviously, this one depends on the person. It was actually me that wanted a moissanite ring and my husband wanted me to get a real one. Some of the moissanite rings I have seen are GORGEOUS!
Party Favors. No. No. No. Any wedding I have been to, the favors are something that can be thrown away anyways. You spend hundreds of dollars and they are unappreciated. We have no party favors and nobody said a word about it.
Florist. Again, this is your opinion and choice in the end. If you are DIY savvy, I say make your own. I have seen some beautiful DIY creations.
Decorator. You asked your wedding party to be a part of your Big Day for a reason. Now, put them to work! Make a fun time out of it with mimosas and have your party help you decorate.
I could go on and on with more Needs and Wants because there are hundreds! For now, I hope this is a good start for you.
The Basilica of Ste Anne de Detroit https://ste-anne.org/wedding/wedding-guidelines/
This church was built in the 1800s and features a gothic style on the outside and vibrant yet vintage colors on the inside. This church allows outside priests to conduct ceremonies. They also offer helpful guidelines for your upcoming wedding, such as a Scavenger Hunt to help you prepare. Don’t forget to check their pricing. Since this church is so popular, they book quickly and ask for at least 6 months prior to your wedding to book.
Old St Mary’s Catholic Church http://oldstmarysdetroit.com/parish-2/sacramental-life/
This 1800s cathedral sits right in the heart of Greektown. One of the most beautiful features is the shrine of the Blessed Mother Mary whom is surrounded by gorgeous stone walls. This church is ideal if you are wanting photos downtown Detroit since you walk out the front doors and there you are right in Greektown. The textures and colors of this church are a sight to see. Keep in mind, at least one of you must be a member at the church or consider being a member to be married here.
Our Lady Of The Rosary Parish (313) 875-6011
I cannot say enough about the beauty of this church. Our Lady of the Rosary was built in the 1800s and has been placed on the National Register of Historic Places. This church is a young adult sanctuary as it serves the students of Wayne State University and College for Creative Studies. This church is a massive rock-faced, cross gable roofed, sandstone Romanesque Revival structure. Basically, this church looks like an old castle! One of the highlights of this church is the Rose Window. The Rose Window has a complex yet stunning design that is so eye catching. As mentioned, this church serves young adults which makes it ideal for younger people to married here. Don’t forget to snap some photos of the exterior with your photographer!
St Aloysius Parish https://www.staloysiusdetroit.com/sacraments/sacrament/3
I am not even sure my words will be enough to explain the beauty of this church. Upon entering, you are greeted by a textured cement building with beautiful wooden doors. Once you enter through those doors, your jaw will drop. You are embraced by granite walls colored in gold and teal tones. A wrap around walkway surrounds the blessed alter. The alter towers over you with beautiful paintings of Jesus, lambs, saints and our Blessed Mother. Once you tour this church, you will fall in love and imagine yourself on your wedding day here. The church asks for at least 6 months prior to your wedding for you to reach out and book. Other than that, you will need to call for any other requirements and questions.
Being in the wedding industry for roughly 10 years AND getting married during COVID has definitely helped me create a great preferred vendors list. These are my Go-To vendors as of 2022. Not only do these vendors go above and beyond but they have a certain respect for the wedding industry. Let’s start off with the basics and work from there! Also, check out my blog on Needs VS Wants when deciding on vendors.
Venues
Shepherd’s Hollow Golf Club, 9085 Big Lake Rd, Village of Clarkston, MI 48346
https://www.shepherdshollow.com/reception
Greystone Golf Club, 67500 Mound Rd, Washington, MI 48095
https://www.golfgreystone.com/events/
Vintage Gardens Wedding Chapel and Event Center, 31490 Utica Rd, Fraser, MI 48026
https://vintagegardensweddingchapel.com/
White House Wedding Chapel, 4860 E Thirteen Mile Rd, Warren, MI 48092
https://www.whitehouseweddingchapel.com/packages.html
Videographers
Daniel Nicholas Films (Dan Cylkowski)
DJ
Pro DJ Services (Jason Parent)
Elite Wedding Co
https://www.weddingsbyelite.com/disc-jockey/
Makeup
Bulletproof Makeup Artistry LLC
www.bulletproofmakeupartistry.com
Marygrace makeup
586-431-9127
Hair
Jessica Cherluck
Insta: Jessica_kathleens_hair_company
Wedding Gowns
Amour Bridal and Prom
586-293-6809
Wedding Gown Alterations
Jules Joyner Designs Inc
@julesjoynerdesigns (Instagram)
Florists
Mancuso’s Florist Inc, St Clair Shores, MI
https://www.mancusosweddings.com/
Baker
Sweet Life Cake Shop, St Clair Shores, MI
https://m.facebook.com/Sweetlifecakeshop7
Caterer
Dorsey College
https://www.dorsey.edu/catering-services/
Transportation
Dream Limousines, Inc
https://dreamlimousinesdetroit.com/
Here are some name changing tips for the bride! This is a great list of areas in which you will need to change your last name. Not all of these will be applicable to you but it is definitely a great cheat sheet to get the ball rolling. For more help on your wedding, check out my blog The Ultimate Wedding Checklist.
Here are the top 4 most important name changes
- Social Security Administration
- Department of Motor Vehicles: driver’s license, car title, registration
- Voter registration
- US passport
These you can do on your own time
- Employer/ Payroll
- Military/ Veteran records
- Email accounts and signature on emails
- ID card
- Business cards
- Landlord, rental office and mortgage company
- Insurance companies: auto, home, life, health
- Utilities: electric, gas, water, phone, internet, cable
- Legal documents: living will, power of attorney
- Credit cards
- Checking accounts and new checks
- Savings account
- 401K and Roth
- Investment accounts
- Loans: student and auto
- Facebook and other social media
- High school alumni office
- College alumni office
- Doctor’s office
- Voicemail
- Magazine subscriptions
- Loyalty and miles programs
- Church membership/ parishioner info
- Other memberships: gym, Amazon Prime, subscriptions
- Entertainment: Netflix, Hulu
How much alcohol do I buy for a DIY Wedding? This is such an important question that gets overlooked often. Above all, have more than enough than not enough. It is better to have extra to give away or take home rather than find someone on your wedding to drive out and buy more.
To get you started, you must know how many guests will be at your wedding. The next step is to know where to get it that is most affordable. For more info on how to find affordable alcohol, read my blog How to Pay for a Wedding & Get out of Debt. Once you have figured this out, how much alcohol should you buy? Keep in mind, it all depends on how much alcohol your guests regularly consume. For 100 guests, this is a normal amount of consumption at a wedding:
- Beer- 200 bottles or cans
- Wine- 48 bottles
- Champagne- 24 bottles
- Liquor- 12 bottles
When it comes to liquor, get the cheap stuff. Normally, guests are not doing straight shots at your wedding and prefer mixers so they shouldn’t taste the difference!
As a fellow catholic, I deeply understand wanting to have your hometown priest officiate your wedding but thinking you don’t necessarily want to be married at your hometown church. Whether you don’t like the look of the church, or maybe it is too dark or maybe even too hot or cold, there is usually another option! So, let’s answer how to have your favorite priest marry you at a different parish?
Picture yourself at a beautiful church such as the Basilica of Ste Anne de Detroit. As guests walk up, they see the cathedral style towers and then enter through the old wooden doors. As they walk in to this 1800s architectural beauty, they are greeted by immaculate pillars, vibrant colors, beautiful archways and the most elegant hand crafted alter. Now, more importantly, imagine yourself as a bride, walking up the isle, seeing your groom for the first time. As you are walking up the isle, you look around to see vintage elegance and beauty. Just behind your groom is your hometown priest whom you’ve known since you were little. He is grinning ear to ear behind your groom. He is able to perform a personalized mass and homily just for you since he has known you for many years.
I personally did this for my wedding but the situation was flipped. I wanted to get married at my hometown parish but the deacon was unavailable. Immediately, we knew we wanted our good friend whom is a capuchin to conduct our ceremony. We let the church know and they sent over the proper paperwork for us to fill out. Along with the paperwork they send, you will need your baptism certificate along with your confirmation certificate to prove you are in fact catholic. These could have been performed at different parishes, as long as you have the certificates (they must be originals).
As always, don’t stress and have fun! This is your wedding day that only happens once and no matter what, God has chosen you two to be together in Holy Matrimony and he is smiling for you.
There are so many things to take into account when planning out your ultimate wedding checklist. What is your budget? What style and vision do you have for your Big Day? Do you want a big wedding or more of an elopement? Make sure you discuss all of these major details with your fiancé to ensure your wedding day is exactly what the two of you want. Here is a basic checklist that includes needs and wants for planning your wedding day. For more help on Needs VS Wants, check out my blog “Needs VS Wants”.
- Make a Pinterest account!
- Discuss your budget
- Choose wedding colors and theme
- Decide on Wedding Invite and Save The Date designs and companies
- Choose wedding gown styles you love
- Browse Venues and book- Always do this before you set a date. You may love a venue but they may not have your date available so if you are flexible, change the date so you can book that venue.
- If the venue does not provide food or alcohol, choose these vendors
- Decide on a date and order Save The Dates
- Decide on guest list
- Book your Photographer- you want to do this early as photographers book up faster than you think!
- Book your videographer if you decide to hire one
- Start deciding what suit your groom likes and wants
- Find florist and start deciding on your favorites
- Decide on Wedding Party attire
- Choose a cake and order
- Choose your location for your Honeymoon
- Make a list of décor and other items needed for your ceremony and reception
- Create a registry
- Book your DJ and create a list of must have songs
- Have a bridal/ wedding shower!
- Find wedding ring styles you love
- Decide on transportation for the day of the wedding
- Buy your wedding rings
- Book transportation
- Book Honeymoon
- Send out invites and include meal choices
- Decide if there will be a rehearsal dinner and where
- Ensure all décor and extras are bought for ceremony and reception
- Get your marriage license- always call ahead and ask what the window is of when you can pick it up and when it needs to be handed back in
- Create a seating chart after your RSVP date
- Finalize a wedding day timeline and share it with you vendors and wedding party
- Ensure your wedding party and family know who is sharing toasts and speeches
- Put aside tip money for Vendors- Always tip vendors as they are doing a service for you
- Finish paying all vendors
- Provide guest count to vendors especially your venue
- Get Married!
- Send Thank Yous
- Change your name- For a list of areas in which you must change your name, see my article “Oh, The Places You’ll… Change Your Name”
- Wait for Photographer and Videographer to deliver amazing photos and videos!